The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
With the deadline passed in the Premier League and incoming transfer activity over for another six months, clubs were left to proudly show off their new wares to fans and the media alike.
The result was a wide array of official unveiling photos, some more polished than others.
Jurgen Klopp learned English from Friends
“Maybe I’m a bit smarter than the Joey role, but my talk with girls was never as good as his” 😂
Jurgen Klopp reveals he learnt English watching… Friends! ☕️
— BBC 5 Live Sport (@5liveSport) August 9, 2019
We’d never peg Jurgen Klopp as a staunch Friends fanatic, but the Liverpool boss has revealed that he used to regularly watch the American sitcom.
In fairness, the German coach did explain that he found the conversations between Rachel, Ross, Chandler et al to be useful in his attempts to learn to speak English.
Why, it turns out that he even does a mean impression of Joey Tribbiani.
So if you should ever overhear Klopp harping on about being on a break, enjoying a meat trifle or serenading his smelly cat, now you know why.
Scottish club’s seagull problem
Scottish club Queen of the South have been forced to resort to desperate measures in their continued attempts to deal with a persistent airborne pest problem.
To that end, ahead of the club’s first home fixture of the season this Saturday, the Scottish Championship side have decreed that any fans caught feeding seagulls inside the stadium risk being ejected.
Yes, you read that correctly. Ejected.
‼️To minimise the impact of the seagulls on everyones enjoyment of the game please DO NOT feed them and USE the bins provided for all waste food. Please consider your fellow supporters. If you are seen to be deliberately feeding the seagulls you will be removed from the ground‼️ pic.twitter.com/AjMcIfdMYu
— Queen of the South (@OfficialQosFC) August 8, 2019
According to BBC News Scotland, this all follows complaints about the mess caused by the birds during a League Cup tie against Motherwell last month.
The Dumfries-based club have been struggling to disperse the gulls for months, even resorting to playing “bird of prey” sound effects over their stadium loudspeakers — though their efforts have so far been in vain.
Sounds like they’re in a bit of a flap, really.
Man Utd boss Woodward trolled by Pizza Hut
Hi @ManUtd does Ed still want this table booked under ‘big name signing’ or shall we cancel that one as well?
— Pizza Hut Restaurants (@pizzahutuk) August 8, 2019
With transfer deadline day in full swing, several non-footballing corporate brand accounts desperately attempted to horn in on the fun on social media — as per usual.
Enter Pizza Hut, who joined the fray with a pithy swipe at Manchester United and the club’s apparent lack of activity.
Of course, just a couple of days prior United spent upwards of £80 million on a new centre-back to take their total window spent above the £140m mark, but why let that get in the way of a good joke at poor Ed’ Woodward’s expense.
Adama Troare misses match after losing passport
Wolves manager Nuno Espirito Santo revealed Adama Traore missed the comprehensive 4-0 win in the Europa League qualifying third round first leg against Pyunik because he did not bring his passport #WolvesFChttps://t.co/wzKgQSSSOh
— PA Dugout (@PAdugout) August 8, 2019
Wolves continued on their quest to reach the Europa League group stages by storming to an impressive 4-0 win over Pyunik in the first leg of their third-round qualifier on Thursday.
Unfortunately, they were forced to beat their Armenian hosts without the services of Adama Traore after the winger forgot to bring his passport to the airport.
“He had a problem with his passport…he didn’t know. It’s impossible to travel with an ID card so he couldn’t travel with us. He’ll join us for the next game,” said manager Nuno Espirito Santos.
Theoretically, Traore shouldn’t experience the same issues ahead of the second leg seeing as it’s being played at Molineux on Aug. 15.